“I don’t suppose I knew him very well. But I knew he smelled like the grass that grew in the den of the old moss. And that my cheek just fit the depression in his shoulder.” -Zelda Fitzgerald on meeting her beloved Scott F.
In one of our amazing technicolor conversations on life, my best girl gave me this fantastic quote, “Cin…you’ve got to drop the baggage but keep the lesson.”
Such a good quote! And so hard to do in the matter of inter-human relationships.
As you get older, with more experience, you get a bit wiser. Last week in a sad moment, I decided to go for a walk in the woods…alone. I hiked down to a rather large creek with a huge birch tree that had fallen across it. I inched myself out on to the middle of the tree and just sat, legs daggling above the babbling brook, listening to the water flow over the rocks.
I watched it swirl and eddy in the golden glow of the evening light, watched in move around and over the large rocks.
Our triggers and wounds and the triggers and wounds of those people we love are much like the rocks. Jagged things, that seem unmovable.
The water wisely flows around them. What if we were more like the water? Becoming conscious to our rocks and those of the people we love. Instead of trying to remove the rock/wound, allow it to be there, we just flow around it. We are conscious to it, we honor it, we respect it, and we flow around it.
As I listened, I thought, the sound of the water flowing over these rocks is some of the most peaceful beautiful music I have heard. If the rocks were not there…the brook would not babble. The beautiful meditative sound of the water hugging up against the rock would cease to exist. These stones which seemed to block the natural flow of the water, actually enhanced the beauty of the creek.
What if our own rocks, our baggage and the baggage of those we loved were treated in the same way that the water treats them, it moves around it. What if we cease trying to remove the blockage in our significant other, what if we just flow around it, sidestep it? Not try to change or remove it, just accept it as a natural part of this persons own personal creek bed of life experiences.
One of the lesson’s that I get to keep is this: dropping the baggage is allowing others to keep their baggage and not try to remove it from them. I want to be the water that flows around it, hugging my beloved’s hurt jagged placed, and in this honoring and respectful motion, create music that soothes the spirit.