Me: “Happy Father’s Day. I love you.”
Nothing more…nothing less than thanks.
I believe in love, wherever it shows up, how it shows up, and it doesn’t get a label. Sometimes, it shows up in ways that don’t make sense, or the way that we would like. Some people we love, don’t know how to show love, and it’s not because they are bad people, it’s because they were not taught, or maybe they feel uncomfortable, or they don’t know how…I don’t think it matters anymore.
When I was younger it did. It mattered greatly to me. Now…it just is, and sometimes, thanks is all someone can give, maybe there is a lot of love in thanks…thank you for loving me, thanks for the text, thank you…thank you is a form of love.
As a grown up woman who didn’t get to hear I love you much at all as a child, I have had to learn to give it to myself. To learn to love in ways I was not taught, and because of that, I am able to love people where they are at.
I can’t say I’ve always been this way, it’s taken a lot of patching up a cracked heart to get here, a lot of reflection and contemplation to know, that we are children of something bigger then are parents, and so are our parents.
Driving out to the barn today, I imagined love a lot like the way sunshine shines through your eyelashes, like long clouds stretching through the sky, beams of energy flowing through the air, like a web. We get to choose, do we want to grab that beam of light? Do we want to reach out and say…I choose love rather then fear, or hate, or disappointment?
There is no harm ever in choosing to love…without fear, without expectation…that place is peace.
I choose love…and that’s why I texted my ex husband to say Happy Fathers Day. And that’s why I said I love you to my Dad even though I know he can’t say it back, and that’s why I sent a message out into the Universe that I knew he could not read just to say…Thank you for being a Dad.
Love people where they are at…this is what I have learned.
And say …thanks.