The day was 9 am and already gone wrong.
Late night submitting queries made for a late morning,tired, the cat peed on the carpet, the dishes were dirty, the clothing un ironed. It was running to grab coffee food, hop into the car, text did you send that email …no….driving, Gray stormy skies…months of it depressing my sunshine heart, The Nationals I’m Easy to Find ripping that sunshine heart open even further, how can Someone else’s music write my story without knowing me …Leaving me naked on the way to the office, then BAM traffic jam of epic shutdown highway proportions, text the barn, moldy bale of hay what do I do, one more person needing to be told what to do. Rage boiling, then despair as I stare at the yellow line on the left hand side of the road as I inch forward with hundreds of others stuck in these moving metal and plastic machines.
I smile…it’s just all gone wrong and there is nothing to do, but sit here in this jam. What to do in the gorgeous gone wrong?
1. It doesn’t get to choose my emotional state. I do.
2. It’s a reckoning. I’m doing too much again.
3. Breathe…be grateful. You’re still in one piece…you are not in the ambulance ahead, you are aware…of the insanity of trying to do it all. The insanity of being asleep.
Dust swirls in strange light …she learns how to lie …another chamber door of the soul unlocked.
Text again…the incessant grasping of others.
Moving now at 9:30…
I choose you gone wrong, your gorgeousness.